Bisexual

an individual (male or female) who is attracted to, and may form sexual and affectionate relationships with, both males and females. A bisexual may not be equally attracted to both genders, and the degree of attraction may vary over time. Bisexuality is the potential or inclination to feel sexually attracted to, and to engage in sensual or sexual relationships with, people of either gender. Bisexuality, like homosexuality and heterosexuality, may be either a transitional step in the process of sexual self-discovery, or a stable, long-term identity.

Closeted

Being "closeted" or "in the closet" refers to not disclosing one's sexual orientation; it is a metaphor usually associated with not being able to tell others that one is lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgender. "Coming Out" - "coming out" or "coming out of the closet" is the process of becoming aware of one's homosexual or bisexual orientation, or one's transgendered identity/status, accepting it and telling others about it. This is an ongoing process that may not include everybody in all aspects of one's life. "Coming out" usually occurs in stages and is a non-linear process. An individual may be "out" in only some situations or to certain family members or associates and not others. Some may never "come out" to anyone beside themselves.

Co-parent

Refers to gay and lesbian parents raising a child together. Sometimes refers to the non-biological or non-adoptive parent raising a child.

Family of Choice

People forming an individual's social support network and often fulfilling the functions of blood relations. Many lesbian and gay people are rejected when their families learn of their sexual orientation, and/or may remain "closeted" to their biological relatives. In such cases, it is their partner/significant other and close friends whom will be called on in time of crisis.

Family of Origin

The biological family or the family in which one was raised. These individuals may or may not be part of a person's support system.

Gay

A person who forms sexual and affectionate relationships with those of the same gender; often used to refer to men only.

Gay Bashing

Physical violence by homophobic/transphobic people against people thought to be gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgender. Transgender people are often more visible during the transitioning stage and bashed often, because they are seen as not fitting into their assigned gender roles.

Gender Dysphoria

The overall psychological term used to describe the feelings of anguish and anxiety that arise from the mismatch between the transgender person's physical sex and their gender identity, and from parental and societal pressure to conform to gender norms.

Gender Identity

One's internal and psychological sense of oneself as male or female, or both or neither (regardless of sexual orientation); people who question their gender identity may feel unsure of their gender or believe they are not of the same gender as their physical body. Third gender is the term sometimes used to describe people who feel other than male or female, and bi-gender refers to people who feel they are both male and female. Often bi-gender people will spend some time presenting in one gender and some time in the other. Some people choose to present androgynously in a conscious attempt to question and expand traditional gender roles, even though they do not question their gender identity.

Gender Roles

The socially constructed and culturally specific behaviour and appearance expectations imposed on women (femininity) and men (masculinity), and that society uses to differentiate females from males.

Gender Transition

The period during which transsexual and transgender persons begin changing their appearances and bodies to match their internal gender identity. Because gender is so visible, people in transition must literally "out" themselves to everyone, making them very vulnerable to violence and discrimination.

GLBT

Abbreviated term used to refer to gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender people. Also interchangeable with LGBT - lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender.

Heterosexism

The institutionalized assumption that everyone is, or should be, heterosexual and that heterosexuality is inherently superior to and preferable to homosexuality or bisexuality; also refers to the institutional and organizational discrimination against non-heterosexuals or behaviours not stereotypically heterosexual. (This discrimination is also sometimes referred to as cultural, institutional or societal homophobia.)

Heterosexual

An individual (female or male) who forms sexual and affectionate relationships with members of the other gender; also referred to as "straight'; a term people apply to themselves because they feel it represents their basic sexual orientation, even though they may occasionally experience attraction to people of their own gender.

Homophobia

The irrational fear or hatred of, aversion to, and discrimination against, homosexuals or homosexual behaviour. There are many levels and forms of homophobia, including cultural/institutional homophobia, personal homophobia, interpersonal homophobia, and internalized homophobia. Many of the problems faced by lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people stem from homophobia and heterosexism. Transphobia is the fear, hatred and intolerance of transsexuals or transgender people, including anyone judged to not fully fit into their assigned gender.

Homosexual

A person who has sexual and affectional attractions predominantly to the same gender; because this term is associated historically with a medical model of homosexuality, most homosexuals prefer the terms lesbian, gay, or bisexual.

Inclusive Language

The use of gender non-specific language (i.e. "partner" instead or "husband") to avoid assumptions which limit, and to enhance the accessibility of information and services; educational, social service, and health professionals are especially encouraged to use inclusive language.

Internalized Homophobia

The experience of shame, guilt, or self-hatred in reacting to one's own feelings of sexual attraction for a person of the same gender.

Interpersonal Homophobia

The fear, dislike or hatred of people believed to be lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgender. This may be expressed by name-calling, ostracism, verbal and physical harassment and individual acts of discrimination.

Intersex

People who were born with a combination of male and female anatomy. Used to be called "hermaphrodite"; some still use this term, though intersex is the word now preferred.

Kinsey scale

Scale constructed by Alfred Kinsey, early researcher of sexuality, when his studies indicated that there is a broad spectrum of sexual orientations and sexual behaviours. Instead of picturing sexual behaviour and orientation as either heterosexual or homosexual, Kinsey developed a seven-point continuum based on the degree of sexual responsiveness people have to members of the same gender and to members of the other gender. Kinsey also concluded that self-labelling may not accurately indicate actual sexual behaviour.

Lesbian

A woman who forms sexual and affectionate relationships with other women; the term originates from the Greek Island of Lesbos which was home to Sappho, a poet, a teacher and a woman who loved other women.

Out

To be open about one's sexual orientation or transgender identity.

Outing Someone

Publicly revealing another person's sexual orientation or transgendered identity/status without permission.

Partner

Primary domestic partner in a spousal relationship; may be referred to as "girlfriend/boyfriend," "lover," "roommate," "life partner," "wife/husband," or "significant other."

Queer

Broad term used both as an individual label, and also signifying a larger socio-political movement created from a general dissatisfaction with gay and lesbian politic that is thought to be too assimilationist in nature; "queer" defines a strategy, an attitude, a reference to other identities and a new self-understanding. It is a term also used as shorthand for LGBT (lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender) people - see also "reclaimed language."

Questioning

An apt term or self-label sometimes used by those exploring personal and political issues of sexual orientation, sexual and gender identity, and choosing not to identify with any other label; "questioning" may create greater potential to create new options as well.

Reclaimed Language

Many LGBT people have chosen to positively use and hence reclaim terms that were previously used by others in only derogatory ways. Some examples are dyke, fag, faggot and queer, all words that have been reclaimed as positive terms. Although these terms are used positively by those reclaiming them, it is still offensive to have them used against us by others whose intent is to hurt. Although many LGBT people have reclaimed these terms there are still other LGBT people who consider any usage of these terms offensive.

Sexual behaviour

Refers to what a person does sexually; it refers to our actions. A person's sexual behaviour can be different from his or her sexual orientation. For example, some lesbians and gay men may have sex with members of the opposite gender due to desire, or outside pressure to conform to heterosexuality, or economic need (sex workers), or for the purpose of procreation.

Sexual identity

I show a person labels or defines him or herself, and is part of a person's overall conception of self, and is a term expressing the whole of a person's sexuality. It may or may not coincide with behaviour or orientation. The term may be used to refer to a socio-political identity, a sexual behaviour, or both. Identification with any particular "label" (gay, straight, bisexual, lesbian, queer, questioning, two-spirited…), or indeed a refusal of any label, may be culturally, economically, generationally, geographically or politically influenced.

Sexual orientation

Refers to a person's deep-seated feelings of sexual attraction. It includes whom we desire sexually, with whom we want to become intimate, and with whom we want to form some of our strongest emotional relationships. The inclination or capacity to develop these intimate sexual and emotional bonds may be with people of the same gender (lesbian, gay), the other gender (heterosexual) or either gender (bisexual). Many people become aware of these feelings during adolescence or even earlier. Some do not realize or acknowledge their attractions (especially same-sex attractions) until much later in life. Orientation is not the same as behaviour since not everyone acts on his or her attractions. It is also important to note that one's gender identity is totally independent of one's sexual orientation; neither facet should be considered predictive of the other.

Sexual Preference

Refers to whom one prefers to have sexual and affectional relationships with (homosexual, bisexual, heterosexual). It is sometimes used interchangeably with "sexual orientation", but considered by many to be inaccurate (or even insulting) because the word "preference" implies choice, whereas the term "orientation" may imply that a person is born heterosexual, homosexual or bisexual. Others prefer the word "preference," for the very reason that "choice" is implied.

Stonewall

New York bar subjected to police raids; patrons fought back in 1969, and the event is considered by many to be the beginning of the modern gay liberation movement. Drag queens (mostly Black and Latino) led the Stonewall riots, and other LGBT people participated too.

Third gender/Other Gender

People who feel other than male or female, or a combination of the two.

Transgender (TG)

A transgender person is someone whose gender identity or expression differs from conventional expectations of masculinity or femininity; transgender is also a broad term used to describe the continuum of individuals whose gender identity and expression, to varying degrees, does not correspond with their genetic or physical gender, or does not conform to society's assigned gender roles and expectations. Many medical researchers now believe that transgenderism is rooted in complex biological factors that are fixed at birth.

Transsexual (TS)

An individual who presents him/herself and lives in the gender "opposite" to his/her genetic/physical gender at birth. A transsexual is someone who feels psychologically like the other sex and has somehow been trapped in the wrong body. Transsexuals may be heterosexual, bisexual or homosexual in their sexual orientation. Some transsexuals may undergo operations and hormone therapy in order to make their body fit what they feel is their true gender. TS's are also known as female-to--male, TFM, transmen or male-to-female, MTF, transwomen.

Transvestite (TV)

Men and women who enjoy wearing the clothing of, and appearing as, the other gender. While many are heterosexual, the use of transvestism in the gay "drag" culture is well documented. A synonymous term is "cross-dressers;" these represent the largest group of transgender persons, the vast majority of whom live in secrecy about their transgender status. Unlike transsexuals, they do not wish to change their physical sex.

Triangle

Pink (for gay men) and black (for anarchists, & prostitutes, and lesbians) triangles used by Nazis for gay and lesbian prisoners; now reclaimed as symbols of gay and lesbian pride. Rainbow flag/colours are additional symbols of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender pride. The labrys is also a symbol of lesbian pride.

Two-Spirited

People of aboriginal or First Nations heritage who are lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, or transsexual; were accorded special and positive status, in many parts of North America, before colonization.

HOMOPHOBIA AND HETEROSEXISM - WHAT THEY ARE, AND WHO AND HOW THEY HURT - GALE-BC

WHAT THEY ARE

Homophobia is the fear, dislike, hatred, aversion, intolerance, and ignorance of homosexuals and homosexuality. These feelings and beliefs usually irrational, result in acts of discrimination, harassment and often violence.

Heterosexism is the promotion of the superiority of heterosexuality, the assumption that everyone is heterosexual, and the belief that heterosexuality is the only right, correct, normal and moral expression of sexuality.

Although these simplified definitions are useful, it is also important to provide further information as to the different forms of homophobia and heterosexism. It is also important to note that homophobia and heterosexism are learned attitudes and behaviours, and that they can be prevented or unlearned.

Individual or Personal homophobia and heterosexism exist when an individual holds and perpetrates the attitudes and behaviours described above. The individual may be thinking, feeling and acting consciously or unconsciously, deliberately or naively, but the result, nevertheless, usually has negative consequences for lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender (LGBT) people.

Internalized homophobia and heterosexism exist when an LGBT person holds and perpetuates the attitudes, values and beliefs described above. LGBT people, like all members of society, have been subjected to negative conditioning about homosexuality; when we accept these negative beliefs we are exhibiting internalized homophobia or heterosexism. Some examples of the destructive force of internalized fear or self-hatred are: denial of one's sexual orientation, contempt for "out" or obvious LGBT people, distrust of other LGBT people, projection of prejudice onto another minority group, or even directly onto other LGBT people, attempts to pass as heterosexual, sometimes even dating or marrying someone of the opposite sex, increased fear and withdrawal from friends and relatives, and in some instances suicide.

Societal or cultural homophobia and heterosexism exist when the media, (television, film, radio, daily newspapers, popular magazines and books) perpetuate the attitudes and beliefs described above. Until very recently, invisibility, caricature, negative stereotypes, and/or exaggerated, emotionally-laden, hysteria-producing depictions (such as linking homosexuality to pedophilia or promiscuity) have been some of the more prominent features of mainstream media's representations of LGBT people. In addition, many newsworthy events are ignored by the mainstream press, legitimate research in areas such as teen suicide is suppressed, positive role models are seldom portrayed, and the struggle for equality by gays and lesbians is often trivialized as excessive or overindulgent. Although there have been more positive trends recently in some media outlets, many others still fail to present positive, accurate depictions of LGBTs.

Institutional or Systemic homophobia and heterosexism exist in the form of institutional and organizational discrimination against non-heterosexuals by major institutions such as government, schools, churches, courts and corporations. Institutions have tremendous power and social status and (through penalties and rewards, disapproval and approval) create incentives for conformity to their "norms". Again, although there has been some positive change, the majority of institutions continue to actively work against LGBT people. And many of those institutions with anti-discrimination policies on paper, have not yet really managed to create safe, welcoming, inclusive or non-discriminatory environments for LGBT people.

Further examples of institutional/systemic homophobia and heterosexism include the inability to marry, exclusion from contributing to and collecting pensions on behalf of same-sex partners, exclusion from job promotions, invisibility in school curricula, housing discrimination, discrimination with regard to child custody, inability to become ordained in most churches, and discrimination in the military. In many countries, it is illegal to engage in same-sex activity, punishable by death in several.

Heterosexual privilege consists of the benefits and advantages heterosexuals automatically receive in a heterosexist culture. In addition, it includes the benefits lesbians, gay men, and bi-sexual people receive as a result of claiming heterosexual identity or denying their homosexual or bisexual identity.

Heterosexual allies are heterosexual people who actively confront heterosexism, homophobia, and heterosexual privilege in themselves and others out of self-interest, a concern for the well-being of LGBT people, and a belief that homophobia and heterosexism are social justice issues. Homophobia and Heterosexism in relationship to other forms of oppression.

Homophobia and heterosexism do not exist in isolation and share many characteristics with other forms of prejudice and discrimination such as racism, sexism, anti-Semitism, classism, ageism and ableism. Because of their sexual orientation, lesbians, gays and bisexuals are often denied access to the same rights and privileges enjoyed by others, and are therefore called a "minority" group. Many LGBs are also members of other minority groups and thus suffer oppression in multiple ways.

Suzanne Pharr (1997), elaborates on the common elements of the various oppressions - elements which include all of the following characteristics; a defined norm, a standard of rightness and often righteousness wherein all others are judged in relation to it, and a norm that is backed up with institutional power, economic power, and both institutional and individual violence, and threats of violence.

In addition, those who seek inclusion and rights are defined in relation to the norm as "the Other", and have to struggle for rights because of a lack of prior claim. In addition, the Other's existence, everyday life, and achievements are kept unknown through invisibility, or portrayed negatively through false information and distortion of events. This distortion and lack of knowledge of the Other expresses itself in stereotyping, which results in dehumanization, blaming the victim, internalized oppression (self-hatred which can express itself in depression, despair, and self-abuse), horizontal hostility (disrespect and hatred toward one's own "minority" group or other oppressed peoples), and isolation.

Since the different forms of oppression are connected, coalition building between the affected groups can erode the power and control exercised by the few, and brings about significant positive change. However, those who hold power may oppose such efforts directly through invalidation, minimization and intimidation. They may also set up more subtle ways that block solidarity, through the tactics of assimilation and tokenism, and a promotion and an emphasis on the power of individual solutions, as opposed to systemic change. The challenge is to continue to build coalitions in order to bring about true social justice for all.

Now that we have taken a close look at what homophobia and heterosexism are, it is time to take a closer and more detailed look at the various and specific manifestations of homophobia and heterosexism; who and how they hurt.

HOMOPHOBIA AND HETEROSEXISM: WHO AND HOW THEY HURT

1. Hatred of gays and lesbians - Many LGBTs live in fear of assault and harassment, because we can be attached for no reason other than for who we are. Our assailants' homophobia often manifests itself via vicious verbal attacks, verbal taunting, physical and emotional intimidation, and physical assault, all of which have been visited upon many LGBT people. Brutal beatings are not uncommon, and hate crimes and murders based on sexual orientation are on the increase. Young people, both actual LGBT youth and those perceived to be LGBT, are particularly vulnerable to hatred within their school communities, as other young people perpetuate most homophobic violence.
   
2. Fear of gays and lesbians - Many people act out their fears of LGBTs in non-violent and commonplace ways. Some people shun their gay neighbours, relatives turn away from their gay family members, co?workers are distantly cold to a gay colleague, young people drop their friend when he/she comes out, parents of school-age children warn their children about gay adults or teachers, parents remove children from an LGBT teacher's classroom, and courts deny custody of children to LGBT parents.
   
3. Fear of being perceived as gay or lesbian - LGBTs are forced to stay in the closet for fear of suffering the violence, prejudices and discrimination described above. "In a third grade classroom there are many times when a hug is just what the child needs. I am very careful not to touch my students, especially the boys, for fear that I will be accused of being gay and lose my job."
   
   Other people are afraid to ask for and to express the physical caring and intimacy felt for one another, for fear of being thought gay or lesbian. Some heterosexual people perceived to be gay are also fearful of the homophobic attitudes and behaviours of others as they too feel unsafe. Additionally, homophobia affects potential allies in that some heterosexual people are reluctant to support or even associate with LGBT people, in case they themselves are thought to be LGBT.
   
   In addition, all youth are affected, heterosexual and non-heterosexual alike. The sex role stereotyping that is often associated with sexual identity, limits those fearful of being perceived as LGBT from pursuing interests and careers that they may otherwise have wished to pursue. Parents sometimes limit the activities of their children based on this same fear.
   
   
4. Fear of being gay or lesbian - Some people are fearful of their physical or sexual attraction for others of the same gender. "In college I had fantasies about my roommate. To make sure that nothing ever happened, I left early in the morning and came home after he was asleep. We had started out as friends but the friendship fell apart since I was always trying to avoid being together." There is nothing unnatural about being attracted to another person of the same gender. People do not always have to act on these feelings, but nor should they be suppressed or thought of as poisonous. The fear of being gay, lesbian or bisexual has led some LGBT people to deny, suppress and repress their homosexual attractions. This has led some gay and lesbian people into heterosexual marriages which are often unhappy and unsuccessful. Everyone involved suffers when the marriage eventually fails.
   
   The fear of being LGBT has also led some people into so-called "reparative therapy" (touted as a "cure for homosexuality), often after coercion by family or church. Reparative therapy has a long history, although it has been assigned different names throughout the past century. Both psychological and psychiatric professions have soundly denounced "reparative therapy" like many of the past "therapies. Likewise, the recent church-based "reparative therapies" enjoy very little support and credibility. In fact, such "reparative therapies", as well as being non-effective in changing sexual orientation, are likely to cause further trauma and difficulties for most, if not all, LGBT people.
   
   
5. Invisibility of gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender people, their lives and their contributions- LGBTs exist in every facet of family, workplace, community and political life, leading diverse, well-adjusted, and deeply satisfying lives (in spite of the difficulties created by homophobia and heterosexism). However, this remains a little known reality, especially for most school-age children, who rarely, if ever, see positive or accurate depictions of GLBT people in their schools. In addition, significant current and historical contributions of LGBT people in diverse fields of endeavour are routinely ignored in school curricula. All young people, heterosexual and LGBT, are deprived of the positive role-modelling for diversity that LGBT teachers, counselors, librarians, and administrators could provide if homophobia were absent.